Flight
by CorinneStark
Summary: Olivia is leaving, traveling to parts unknown. Before she gets on that plane though she reflects on how she came to this decision, including the battle royale she had with Fitz regarding Defiance and the spying. I was compelled to write this fic because I really need to hear these two lay it all on the table. An apology may not be enough, but it's a start. Sequel follows.
1. Chapter 1

**I started writing this fanfic after "Boom Goes the Dynamite." Fitz had found out about Defiance and Olitz was on the rocks. It was during the long hiatus I decided I needed to see them speaking to each other, so this fanfic series was born. This story diverges with the TV show after the events that happened in season 2 episode 15. The paragraphs that are italicized take place in the present. **

Chapter 1

_She sat at the airport terminal, waiting, watching. Every man with a buzz-cut, non-descript suit and sun-glasses filled her with a momentary sense of anxiety. Were they one of his?_

_She had been planning this for over a month. Sometimes she thought she could never pull it off, but she created a new life for Lindsay Dwyer in less time. She could do this._

_She could leave it all behind. So what if she loved her job? She could find another one . . . eventually. Maybe it wouldn't be as exciting as being the keeper of all the dirty little secrets of the most powerful people in United States, but who's to say she couldn't do it all again in another part of the world? After all, she had the knack of meeting the right people at the right time._

_People. Her people. How could she leave them? She left them rich, if nothing else. She told herself she couldn't be responsible for their damaged psyches forever. That there had to be a time when she could draw a line under their names in her heart and say the debt had been paid._

The last client that Olivia Pope and Associates ever took was the CEO of one of the largest banking institution in the world. They fixed his problem, but it came with a heavy price tag. In all honesty, it was blackmail, pure and simple. When Olivia demanded her fee of $40 million, even the jaded banker bulked a little.

"I was told you give a fair deal, Ms. Pope."

"After what you did? This is a bargain." She said evenly. She didn't want to dwell on what he did, thinking how silly it was now that she ever thought she wore the white hat. Nevertheless, he kept his side of the deal and deposited the money in an off-shore account Olivia had specifically set up for her great escape. She distributed $10 million among her associates evenly. She kept the rest, thinking that it should be enough to elude the most powerful man in the world. At least she thought it would be enough for the next 5 years until he was a little less powerful.

Fitz.

Just the thought of him stirred up so many emotions just simmering below the surface of her mind; love, anger, fear, desire, and an overwhelming sense of loss. Somehow, she never thought that their story would cumulate in a dark electrical closet at the White House. It had been three years since they had sex. Three years since of keeping herself in check. Three years of pushing him away, when all she wanted to do was feel his heartbeat next to hers, to feel his skin rub against hers, to lick his sweat, to take him in and taste his salty essence. Three years since she felt his sure tongue explore every fold of her womanhood. Three years since she felt his smile on her stomach as he kissed every inch of her body.

There were no smiles in that small place where they found themselves giving into to their desperate need to feel something. For a moment, it worked. All they could feel were their bodies calling out to each other and the push and pull of flesh. She sought out his mouth, her tongue warring with his, sucking and licking and biting. The angle at which he took her was slightly painful, but it felt so good. It always felt good. It felt right. It felt like home.

He released her as she turned around to kiss him. He entered her again, raising one of her legs to get a better angle. He pumped into her again and again until they climaxed together. They usually did. She had never experienced that with any other person. Only Fitz. It was as if he marked that part of her soul. Her very pleasure belonged to him and him alone.

Then he abruptly pulled out of her, buckling up his pants and refusing to look her in the eyes. The hope that was building inside of her since she looked into his eyes over baby Ella began to die. Somehow, she thought if they were alone together it would all be alright again. There would be no need for accusations or apologies. That their bodies would tell each other everything that was in their hearts and words would no longer be necessary.

He started straightening his suit, not looking her way. The momentary connection she felt with him was completely lost. The last words he said to her started running on a loop in her mind again; "Screwing your mistress is one thing . . ." She scrambled to find her jacket. She quickly put it on and tried to pull herself together as best she could. She could feel his seed leaking out of her body. She grabbed her panties and tried to clean up the best she could. As soon as she was done, he opened the door, obviously not wanting to spend another second in the same room together. She stuffed her panties in her purse and then bolted out the door.

She stopped half-way down the hallway. This is it, she thought. Say something, anything. The first thing that came out was something that she had been thinking about for months, for years. "I made a mistake." He passed her by and half turned, still not able to look her in the eyes, "We both did. It won't happen again." Before he headed back down the hallway, he finally shot her a brief glance filled with grief and guilt and anger. It took her breath away, and she gasped with pain. He turned to her again almost like he wanted to run and give _her_ comfort.

"I was talking about Defiance." His lips tightened. She half expected that he would yell at her. Instead, he stepped towards her, "That wasn't a mistake," he said quietly as he put his hands in his pockets and looked her directly in the eyes with something resembling regret. "That was betrayal. We are done. I may not be able to control my erections around you, but that does not mean I want you. We . . . are done."

And that was it. Every single bad thing she thought about herself and this "relationship" was confirmed right there. She was nothing to him. She meant nothing to him. She was a good fuck who could be easily replaced. She was the side piece. The whore. The mistress. And she was a fool to think that any of these stolen moments meant anything more than a diversion to him. She wished she had never met him. She ran down the hallway, unshed tears blurring her vision. Once she stepped outside, she knew that she would never step foot in the White House again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_The voice over the loud speaker shook her out of her reverie. "Good evening, on behalf of Lufthansa Airlines, we would like to welcome all of our passengers. We will begin boarding First-Class passengers for Flight 2164 in approximately twenty minutes. Please do not leave the boarding area at this time." _

_Twenty minutes until she started her new life traveling to a country that while it did not have a hostile relationship with the United States, they did not have a friendly one. Enough distance that the President couldn't just ask for a favor and expect it to be returned immediately. It was a country where money bought security and privacy. _

_Liv felt like she was going to throw up. She took a deep breath and slowly released it to calm her nerves. She stared at the family seated in the chairs in front of her. The woman wore a pretty blue printed hijab that matched her long sleeved shirt. She held a sleeping toddler. Her husband sat in the chair next to her, smiling at their little boy. He gently caressed the mother's arm from the inside of her elbow to the tip of her fingers. He then intertwined his fingers with hers and brought her hand to his lips to kiss it. Olivia felt a sharp ache of longing watching this, knowing in her heart that this kind of experience is something that she would never have. Not with the one she loved._

_And yet. . ._

_She could have something. She could fashion some kind of life for herself. She may be able to find some bit of happiness. She was not broken. Not yet, at least, despite his best efforts._

It was about a month after the closet incident and about a week after she saw Fitz at the Caldwell fundraiser that they found the cameras.

Ever since Amanda was kidnapped from her apartment, Huck had made regular sweeps. In the past six months, they started to get a little lax about it. It had been a couple of months since Huck had done his sweep. It was a Saturday morning. Thank God it had stopped raining and Huck had finally taken a shower. They had found nine cameras altogether, two in her bedroom. She didn't make it to her bathroom before she threw up. Maybe she should have counted her blessings that they found no cameras in there.

By the afternoon, Huck had traced the source back to a Captain Jacob Ballard. By 3 o'clock, he found out that Jake Ballard and Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III were old navy buddies.

"You want me to take care of him?" Huck said it casually, but she could tell that there was a simmering anger underneath. "Who, Fitz or Jake?"

"Either one, both; doesn't matter."

"No, Huck. I'd rather you not be detained for trying to assassinate the President again, or killing a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, for that matter. I do need you to do me a favor, though."

On Friday, she had suggested they meet for their "second date" at an Ethiopian restaurant she liked in Adams Morgan. Of course, Jake thought that was too boring, so he wanted to meet her at the Lincoln Memorial. As if she had never been there before. He really was kind of basic.

So at 7 o'clock she went to meet him with Huck following closely behind. Jake seemed nervous, like he knew that the gig was up. She suspected that the lack of a constant video feed probably tipped him off. She smiled sweetly at him. She asked him to hold out his hand. She then placed the 9 micro cameras in his hand. "Tell your boss, I don't appreciate being stalked-by-proxy. If he has something he wants to know about me, he can ask me himself. And whose perverted idea was it to try and date me, yours or his?" One look at Jake's chagrined face, and she knew it was his own. Should she feel relieved that Fitz wasn't trying to play matchmaker? "Goodbye, Jake."

Huck stepped out of the shadows and Olivia joined him. She should feel violated. She should be furious, and she was. But she wasn't a hypocrite and she would feel no shame. She had spied like this on the behalf of multiple clients. She had even done it against one of her own associates, her "family." Fitz's secret service detail knew every time they had a tryst in the Rose Garden, or a little room in the White House, or at the National Archives and Records Administration. Hell, the first time she had sex with Fitz was recorded and eventually became late night TV fodder.

She was angry that she hadn't caught it sooner. She was angry that Fitz had unilaterally told her that they were "done" but was still watching her every move. She was angry that he just didn't pick up the phone and talk to her. Yell at her. Scream at her. Tell her what a rotten human being she was for stealing an election. Demand that she explain herself. Instead there was only silence.

Even after she told Cyrus the information they had about a potential mole. Cyrus turned as pale as a ghost when she showed him the evidence they had against the CIA director. "How am I supposed to make him believe that the CIA director is leaking highly classified information and may be working in collaboration with terrorists? You have to talk to him, Liv, he'll listen to you."

"No, he won't," she said emphatically. "Besides, it's not my job to tell him what to believe or not. I gave you all the information I have; it's up to you what to do with it."

She half expected to see Tom and Hal show up at her doorstep to drag her back to see Fitz. There would be accusations and heated words, and maybe something more. Instead, Corinne Stark from the National Security Agency arrived at Pope and Associates with her team of agents to question them about what they learned about the intelligence leaks. Since none of them were detained indefinitely for questioning, she guessed the NSA believed them. Corinne must have been given orders to go easy on them.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

She couldn't stand it anymore. She had waited over ten months to talk about the election rigging with Fitz, mainly because she was afraid to see the look of hatred in his eyes. She was sick of being a coward. She had to try to explain about Defiance. She didn't know if he would listen, but damn it, after all they had been through, he owed her at least the chance to talk to him about it.

She picked up her phone and called the one tenuous connection she still had to Fitz, "Cyrus, I need to see him."

"Olivia?" He answered, groggily. "Jesus, it's 1 o'clock in the morning. What's going on?"

"I need to see him," she repeated.

"Why? Last time we talked you wouldn't even tell him about the information leak. Which, by the way, thank you, Fitz actually appreciated that information. I'm a little less of a pariah now."

"It's personal."

Cyrus let out a big sigh, "Of course, it's personal. You know, things would be a lot easier if things were a lot less personal. Liv, I frankly don't know if he'll see you. Besides, he's going to Camp David in the morning."

"Will Mellie be there?" Olivia tensed up just speaking her name. "No, she's doing some nutritional conference or something for the Department of Health and Human Services in California. Hey, your idea about letting Mellie be Mellie worked, Liv. Thanks again." He sighed again, "Let me see what I can do, and I'll get back to you."

"Cyrus . . . did you ever apologize to him?" She never would say the word Defiance over the phone, no matter how secured the line. "No, and I never will. He should be thanking me every day for making him President of this great nation. And if that's the reason why you want to see him, you're a bigger fool than I thought."

She hadn't heard from Cyrus all day. She kept busy at work, but she checked the clock often. Finally, around 7 pm, she decided that she would go home early. Huck insisted that he would ride with her home, still tense about the surveillance they found there. They were just about to head out when the elevator door open and two familiar faces greeted her.

"Tom, Hal."

As the car approached the compound, her nerves began to fray. She felt her heartbeat grow so loud she could barely hear anything but that. Her fingertips were numb and tingled. Her breath quickened and she felt ready to bolt at any second. She thought she might be experiencing something akin to a fight-or-flight response. When Tom opened the door to the office and she saw Fitz leaning on the edge of his desk, his arms crossed, his mouth tight and a hardness in his eyes, she thought, ok then, fight it is.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Why are you spying on me? I thought we were done." She didn't know why this was the first thing out of her mouth, she fully intended to come here to talk about Defiance, but seeing him look so angry and arrogant just pissed her off.His brows furrowed with incredulity, "Are you serious? This is why you came here?" He uncrossed his arms, gripped the sides of his desk and casually crossed his ankles. Fitz was wearing a hunter green polo shirt and a brown bomber jacket. "We _are_ done. I was having you followed because I didn't know if you were a threat to national security. I don't know what kind of person you really are."

That stung. "So nine cameras in my apartment and two in my bedroom are all in the interest of national security?" He had the decency to look embarrassed by that, "Liv, I didn't know there would be anything in the bedroom."

"Oh, so I should be relieved that you controlled your erections long enough to not to pop in an Olivia Pope porno to watch?" A flash of Jake doing something similar went across her mind and a wave of embarrassment washed over her.

"Look, Livvie, it wasn't like that. I didn't . . ."

She didn't want to hear it,"And the other seven cameras are supposed to be fine? Did you get a warrant? What about sending your lackey to date me? How does that fit in?" His mouth went agape for a moment, then he stood up and crossed the room towards her, clinching his jaw and crossing his arms again. "You dated Jake?"

"I went on a date with him, before I knew he was your spy."

His lips thinned and his eyes narrowed, "Did you sleep with him?" Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing, "That is none of your damn business!"

"Did you screw him?" he yelled, his eyes furious. "No," she said. "I did not screw him!" He looked measurably relieved when she said this, which made her angrier. "Who the hell do you think you are, asking about who I sleep with? What made you think you ever had a right to ask that question?"

"Because you were mine! Because we were suppose to belong together!" And here, he looked tortured, "Because, God help me, in spite of everything, I still want you." He closed the distance between them grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her deeply. She kissed him back and wrapped her arm underneath his jacket and shirt to feel the bare skin of his back. This was not how she had planned on this to go. She thought that he would take her right there in his office. But he broke off the kiss and grabbed her hand with a purpose, opened the door to the hallway and rushed pass Tom, who averted his gaze and Hal who looked as red-faced as ever.

Fitz practically dragged her through the complex until they reached his bedroom. He threw her on the bed and started to take off her clothes, he tore her blouse as he desperately sought out her flesh. She was just as eager to feel his, pushing his coat off and yanking his shirt off his body. She traced one hand from the base of his hard stomach to the nape of his neck and then pulled him down for a kiss. His tongue sought her out, touching the roof of her mouth and tasting her teeth. He traced kisses down her neck and chest until he found one of her nipples. He took it in his mouth and sucked deeply. She felt a bolt of energy shoot straight down to her clitoris. She grabbed his head and held it to her, moaning and holding on for dear life.

He released her breast and sat up a little bit. He unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, clutching the fabric on either side of her hips and pulling them off of her in one smooth movement. He made short work of her panties and buried his mouth between her thighs, never taking his eyes off of hers as he tasted her. Her legs were thrown over his shoulders; her feet tapped his back every time he moved. She could barely breathe and she groaned with pleasure.

He moved off of her and she nearly screamed with frustration. He quickly took off the rest of his clothes and plunged into her. He plummeted into her again and again as he kissed her breasts. There was nothing gentle about his lovemaking. It was hard and sharp. She could feel his balls slapping against her as he kept a steady pace. It was going to be hard for her to walk the next day. She pulled his face up to hers and kissed him, vaguely tasting herself on his tongue. He grimaced as he increased his speed. Her heartbeat increased and it felt like it kept rhythm with his. She was on the edge. She grabbed his firm ass with both hands and encouraged him to come with her. She then felt him burst inside of her and she was right there with him. She shouted out in ecstasy and he did as well as he collapsed on top of her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

They didn't move from that position for awhile, she didn't think either one of them wanted to break the moment with the inevitable continuation of the argument. She felt him inside of her, spent. Every inch of his body was pressed against hers. She traced the curve of his spine and then rested her hand on his backside. She could feel him slightly stir inside of her. She finally looked into his eyes and saw a man drowning in pain. She gently took the sides of his face in her hands not breaking eye contact and said, "I'm so sorry."

With that, he scrambled out of bed, went to one of the dresser drawers and pulled out a pair of sweatpants. He threw her one of his Navy t-shirts, quickly slipped on his sweats and then sat on a lounge chair near the bed. The hardness returned to his eyes as he harshly asked her, "Why? Why did you do it? What was your angle? What did you get out of it?"

Where should she start? She put on the shirt and collected her thoughts. "It was the worst decision I've ever made, but I didn't have an agenda, Fitz."

He smirked, "So you just did it for no reason at all."

This wasn't going to be easy. "No, I . . ." She struggled to find the words. "It was after the funeral for your father." He grew very still, his eyes betraying no emotion. "You said that you wanted to win the election and you asked me if you thought if you'd make a good President. And I knew you would. I knew you'd be a great President. You wanted it so badly, and I wanted you to have it. And it was my fault. If I hadn't let my emotions cloud my judgment, if I hadn't gotten involved with you, I would have seen we were in trouble earlier. I would have fixed it before there was any problem. But I loved you and I knew all the things that made you such a wonderful candidate, such a wonderful person, and I didn't realize that a lot of the public wasn't seeing the same thing."

"So, you thought that I was such a wonderful person, you'd steal an election for me," he skeptically asked. "Why would you think I'd ever want to win that way?" His voice grew harsh, "You betrayed everything I ever believed in. You betrayed everything I ever thought I knew about you. You must have thought it was a real joke to declare your love for me over the constitution when you just shit all over it."

"My love for you is real," she said calmly. "I thought that, I thought that even though the means were wrong, you would make it right. You were the right person for the job, Fitz. Believe me; you don't know half of what Reston is."

"Reston is the person who should have been President. By the People," Fitz said sadly. There was nothing she could say to that. His voice grew stern, "Did you know about the seven people who were killed to cover up Defiance?"

So, he'd been doing his own investigating in the time since he found out about it. "I knew about their deaths after the fact, it's one of the reasons why I resigned," Olivia said clearly. She decided she would answer every question he had with no reservations.

"What were the other reasons," he asked quickly, intrigued by this new information. She could feel her ears burning with embarrassment, "That same day, Mellie approached me and let me know she knew about us, that she was fine with it and that she thought it was my patriotic duty to screw the President."

"What?" His shocked face actually made her smile for once. "Yeah, it surprised the hell out of me as well," she said. He smiled back, still stunned. His smile faded, "It's been three years since the election, why didn't you ever tell me about Defiance?"

"Because you had no part in the decision to do it and I didn't want you burdened by something that wasn't your fault." Olivia watched him from her vantage point on the bed; his body language was deceptively casual, he was leaning back in the chair, but he was coiled like a cat, every muscle tight like he was ready to pounce.

"Oh how thoughtful of you," he sarcastically said, contempt forming in his eyes. "You didn't want to burden me with knowing that my Presidency is based on one of the greatest frauds committed against the American people and resulted in the deaths of seven people. Actually, make that eight, let's not forget about Britta." It was Olivia's turn to look stunned. "Yes, I know Verna put the hit out on me," he said dismissively. "So while I was planning on divorcing Mellie and risking everything to be with you, a Grand Jury was being convened to look into the legitimacy of my Presidency and you didn't even let me know." He got up and started to pace the room.

"What a chump I was. You got your President. Olivia Pope – the woman who could fix any problem. There's nothing like making a President to impress your clients, right?" Fitz came closer to the bed, towering over Olivia, voice rising. "Admit it. I meant nothing to you, did I? I was just a means to an end, wasn't I?"

"No! That's not true, you meant everything to me!" Olivia got off the bed and stood in front of him. She placed both hands on the side of his face, hoping that he could see the truth in her eyes. "I loved you and I still do. Please believe me." It looked like Fitz was engaged in an internal battle, hope was battling with betrayal. "Fitz, I'm so s . . ."

He interrupted her, taking her hands off him and stepped back "No, I don't want to hear you say you're sorry again. You had ten months to say something after I found out. Even after I knew, you never came back."

"You told me it was over, Fitz! You dismissed me. What was I suppose to do?" She started to feel her own anger coming back. "You asked me to wait for you, I told you I would and then you changed your mind! The President of the United States dumped his mistress. Maybe she's good for screw in a supply closet, but not worth much more than that." She could see him wince at her words. "I couldn't even claim the right to see you.I had no claim to any part of you other than what you were willing to give."

"You claimed every part of me, and you know it, Liv," Fitz shouted. "You used me just like everyone else. Do you have any idea what that did to me, of what I've done?" Something in the way he said that frightened her; _what did you do, Fitz?_ "I thought you were different. You made me believe that there were some things in this world that were good and pure and constant. You made me want to be a better person. You made me believe in you."

"I'm not a statute on a pedestal, Fitz. I've never claimed I was perfect. I'm human, and I made a terrible mistake." The tears ran freely down her face now, despite her best efforts to staunch them. He started to move towards her again, like he wanted to comfort her. But instead he stopped himself and collapsed in the chair, rubbing the bridge of his brow with his fingers. "I don't know what you want from me, Livvie."

Olivia knelt in front of him and placed one hand on his knee and another one on his cheek, looking deeply into his eyes. "I want you to forgive me. I want you to see me for who I am and to love me anyway. I want you to tell me that you could trust me again someday."

She could see the struggle in his eyes. The anger was still there, but there was also hurt and confusion and something that might resemble love. "I want to forgive you, Olivia. I want to believe you, but I don't think I can. I'm not the same person anymore. I've done . . ." He looked grief stricken at that moment. "I just don't think I can trust anyone anymore."

Olivia slowly stood up. "Then I guess there's nothing more left to say, is there?" He didn't respond. She gathered her clothes, while Fitz sat quietly, staring at the floor. Her own shirt was ruined, so she kept on the one he gave her. She quickly put on her underwear and pants, feeling more awkward by the second. As she placed her hand on the doorknob to exit, she stopped. Without turning around, she said, "If you don't stop me from walking out this door, I'm not coming back to you. I can't do this anymore. This is it." She waited for a moment, opened the door, and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tom had made arrangements for another agent to drive her home. The next morning her doorbell rang at 6:00 am. She rushed to the door and opened the security window. It was just Huck. She opened the door quickly and hurried back to her bathroom as a wave of nausea hit her. After she was done, she met Huck in the living room where he was doing his morning sweep of her apartment. His back was turned to her as he made his sweep of the fireplace. "You've been sick a lot," he said. He turned to face her, "You think you should get that checked out?"

She felt the blood drain from her face. Yes, she had been getting sick almost every morning for about a week, ever since Huck found the cameras. She had chalked it up to nerves at the time, but now that she thought about it, she was late this month. She had been distracted all day at work. As the workday ended, Huck asked her if she'd like him to accompany her home. No, she told him. She just needed to pick up a few things at the pharmacy and she'd go straight there.

Back at her apartment, she stared down at the five pregnancy tests remembering the night she called Stephen over after finding out that Amanda Tanner was pregnant. Stephen was gone now and she guessed she shouldn't drown in a bottle of Bordeaux.

Five pregnancy tests. Five positive results.

How could she be so stupid? She was between doctors so she hadn't gotten a refill on her birth control pills. Besides, she hadn't had sex in over ten months.

That is, until Ella's baptism. _Oh, God._

She should have taken a morning after pill immediately, but she didn't even think about it.

When she returned to the office after leaving the White House that day, she just sat in her chair watching the day turn into night, stunned by everything that had happened. Two weeks later she was back on the pill, not knowing that a child was already growing inside of her. 

The next few weeks after she found out she was pregnant were a blur. She had scheduled to have an abortion twice and cancelled both times. One time she made it as far as the clinic lobby before she turned around and headed back out the door. She just couldn't do it. However messed up the circumstances, this child was a part of her and it was a part of Fitz as well. Even if he hated her, even if it changed everything, she couldn't deliberately throw that away.

She allowed herself to imagine a family life with Fitz exactly two times. The first time was when the whole Amanda Tanner situation exploded and Fitz contemplated resigning. As everything seemed to be crumbling before them, peace took a hold of Fitz, "A man who isn't President can have a life. A life he wants. A life he's always wanted with the woman he loves." They smiled together and made out in front of the oval office cameras without a care. They could live in the country, away from prying reporters. She could have a child of her own with him and Jerry and Karen could live with them and be the big brother and sister.

She never even contemplated it was possible until that moment. She still felt that sweet promise of tomorrow on her lips as she exited the oval office and ran into Cyrus who filled her with doubt. Would she really be diminishing him and depriving this country if she allowed him to just do what he wanted and be with her? Could loving each other really be that wrong?

"You can't have him," Stephen told her. And there was the rub. Fitz was never hers. He was Mellie's husband. He was Karen and Jerry's father. He was the Republicans' candidate. He was the nation's President. She couldn't have him because he never belonged to her or with her. All the images of a fat brown baby with Fitz's smile began to fade. She could fix this. She could handle this crisis and bring him through the other side.

The next time she considered a life with Fitz, he had asked her to not marry Edison and to wait for him to get a divorce. She started imagining waiting two years until his first and probably only term was over. Her career as a fixer would probably be over too, but they would have each other, and that would be enough. All of her dreams were dashed at Verna's funeral.

She never really thought about having babies before Fitz. She never was one to play with dolls when she was a little girl. In all honesty, babies kind of scared her. She felt awkward holding them, thinking that she would either hurt them or make them miserable. But knowing that this was a piece of someone she loved, even if he no longer loved her, made her feel differently.

She had never felt so alone and desperately wanted to talk to someone. She really didn't have that many close friends and the woman who raised her was long dead. She thought for a moment of calling Stephen. He was the only one outside of Cyrus and probably Huck that knew anything about the affair. But he had deliberately walked away from this crazy life and was getting some normal in Boston. She wouldn't burden him with this bombshell. Who was she kidding; there was only one person she wanted to talk to.

Out of every person in her life, Fitz was still the one she felt the most comfortable with in her own skin. She wanted to hear his voice on the phone, to hear him tell her it was going to be alright, that they would figure it out together. However, that avenue was closed to her now. She had laid everything bare to him at Camp David, told him all that was in her heart and he had soundly rejected her. She couldn't face more rejection, or worse, a grudging sense of obligation. This was ultimately her decision, her choice. She could love this child. She could love it fiercely and protect it from all harm. She wanted this baby and she was going to have it.

It would change everything. She couldn't stay here. Not if the media could catch wind that it was the President's child and turn her life into complete chaos. Not if Fitz could find out. She wasn't quite sure what he would do, but she thought he would probably want to publically acknowledge it and throw his entire Administration into turmoil. Or maybe she was completely wrong about him and he'd ask her to get an abortion. An unbidden image of Amanda Tanner's body being dragged from the Potomac came to her mind. But that wasn't Fitz, it was Billy Chambers. Still, she wouldn't be surprised if others who surrounded him would try to make sure that the child of the President's mistress would never come to term.

So she started making plans. The first thing she did when she made the decision was to sit everyone down at the OPA and tell them that she had to disappear. They all were shocked and started asking a million questions. Except Huck, who wore his grimly stoic face and said nothing.

Olivia gave vague, unsatisfactory answers to all of their questions. As usual, it was Abby who cut through the bullshit. "You can't just leave. You have obligations here. You have responsibilities. You are really going to leave Quinn, when you are indirectly responsible for completely screwing up her life? You are going to leave Harrison? Ride or die Harrison who would always be there for you?" Both Harrison and Quinn looked away, embarrassed that Abby was voicing their thoughts. "And what's going to happen to Huck? You think Huck is going to last a month before slinking back into the shadows or worse? Before he's just another dead homeless person on a park bench?"

That last bit really got to Olivia. "Abby, that's enough! I will make sure you are each well and fully compensated before I go. You can even keep the firm going, just as long as my name is off the door. The lease is good through the end of the year." She could tell that this wasn't going to appease them. "But I have other obligations and responsibilities that absolutely must take precedent. I'm sorry, but they must. I can't tell you more, but it's for your own protection and for mine." At this point, Olivia could feel the tears she promised she would never shed in front of her team burning in her eyes.

A flash of anger and comprehension went across Abby's face. "This is about the President and the cover-up, isn't it?" It was a rhetorical question; she knew that Liv would never answer and Abby thought she already knew it. Abby got up from the table and sighed, "I freaking hate Republicans."

Over the next month, the OPA worked on the CEO's case and tied up the loose ends of the life of Olivia Pope. She thought about taking Huck with her. Abby's words about Huck haunted Olivia. He would make a great body guard and she could use his skills. But he would bring with him his own set of problems, and Olivia needed her life to be as problem-free as possible. Besides, she would never ask him to abandon everything and go with her. She thought she had detected something going on between him and Quinn. Maybe that would be enough to keep him grounded.

During that month, Olivia waited. And she watched. She thought that Fitz might try to reach out to her again. That even though she and her team had taken every precaution to make it seem like nothing was going on, he would somehow know what she was planning and would try to stop her. But she heard nothing from him. Not even from Cyrus, for which she was grateful. She didn't think she could survive his BS detector.

When the day arrived, Huck greeted her at her door to take her to the airport. She gave him a big hug. "Please take care of yourself, Huck. Don't be afraid to ask for help from the others, ok?" Huck hugged her right back. "I'll be fine," he said. "You do _not_ need to worry about me. All you need to do is worry about yourself and the baby." Olivia smiled a little and shook her head. Of course he knew about the baby.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7__

_"Ladies and gentlemen, we will now begin boarding Flight 2164, starting with First-class passengers. Please take a moment to make sure you have all your belongings and have your boarding passes ready at this time."_

_The little boy across from her stirred in his mother's arms as his father started to gather all of their belongings. He opened his sleepy eyes and stared at Olivia. He had big beautiful green eyes set against olive skin. She wondered what kind of eyes her child would have; her big brown doe eyes, or Fitz's sparkling blues. She thought of Fitz's eyes, staring at her across the campaign office, of them dancing with laughter after greeting an overly enthusiastic volunteer, of them open and unguarded when he found release in her. Maybe she would see a reflection of his eyes in her child._

_As all of her memories of Fitz began to flash before, one in particular overtook her thoughts._

Somewhere along the campaign trail they had scheduled a half day off for him. Their first campaign event wouldn't start until 2 pm. He could actually sleep in, and after a rollicking night of lovemaking in a hotel room, they both could probably use it. Sunlight flooded the bedroom. This was the first time she had seen his naked body bathed in the dawn of the morning. She usually flew out of his bedroom hours before daybreak, not wanting to be caught. This time she stayed longer than she ever dared before. He was lying on his stomach, one arm sprawled over her body, his hand comfortably cupping her breast. She watched his back rise and fall with his steady breath as he slept deeply. She quietly slipped out underneath his arm.

She wanted to take him all in with the daylight. She wanted to memorize every freckle, every scar, and every curve of his muscle for future reference. She traced every inch of his body starting with the nape of his neck; she ran her hands down his spine, lingered on his posterior and continued down his thighs. She could hear his breathe increasing, he was waking up. She kissed the small of his back.

With that, he woke up with a flash, flipped her over, pinned her hands to the sides of her head and gave her a deep kiss. "Trying to tickle me, I see? Well, two can play at that game."He kissed her at a spot underneath her breast that he knew was particularly sensitive. She laughed heartily. "No wait, stop," she protested, trying to catch her breath. He ignored her as he started to kiss her belly, moving down to her most sensitive area of all. Her hands escaped his and grabbed his head. "I mean it, stop. It's my turn this morning.**"**

With that, he did stop and gave her a wicked grin, "What did you have in mind?" She smiled and pushed him on his back, "Be still, and don't move." She straddled his stomach, feeling his erection growing behind her. She placed both of his arms straight out like he was a giant albatross. She traced each arm from the tips of his fingers to the shoulders. She kissed the scar on his collar bone where he got a compound fracture as a kid. She then proceeded to the juncture of his clavicle.

"What are you doing, Livvie?" He asked voice straining as he got more aroused.

"I'm mapping you out, recording the history of your body." She didn't add, _so I can remember every part of you when you are gone._She proceeded to kiss him down his muscular chest, his hair tickling her lips, she sucked one of his nipples and it got a little hard. She then proceeded to the other one and moved down to his belly button, flicking her tongue inside of it. Fitz groaned with pleasure, he moved his arms from their splayed position and placed them on both the sides of her head guiding her down between his thighs.

She took as much of his member into her mouth as possible, relaxing her throat muscles and moving up and down on him. "Livvie, ugh . . . please, I want. . ." She knew what he wanted. She released him from her mouth with a pop and then proceeded to straddle him with one fluid movement. She rode him fast and hard as one of his hands grabbed her breast while the other held her hip. The pressure was building and they both cried out together. Finally, he came inside of her, shuddering until he was fully spent. She collapsed on top of him, satisfied. She may not have him forever, but she had him today. And at that moment, it was enough.

_She took out her boarding pass. Nothing is for keeps, all anyone ever has is memories, and even those could be lost. She touched her still mostly flat stomach; she'd have a part of him, at least for awhile, until that child grew up and chose its own path._

_She looked around her; she wasn't sure what she was expecting. For TSA agents to surround her? For her to be put on a no fly list? For Tom and Hal to show up and drag her to the White House? For Fitz to show up himself? There would be no one to come and stop her. This was really happening. _

_As she started walking towards the gate, she could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Everything seemed to blur out around her and she began to breathe rapidly. She couldn't feel her hands or feet. She felt like she did right before she confronted Fitz at Camp David. This was pure survival mode. Fight or flight? She handed the boarding attendant her pass._

_Flight it is._


	8. Chapter 8

Epilogue

_It had been nearly two months since Fitz had last seen Olivia at Camp David. He couldn't keep her out of his head. He thought about how he moved on top of her body, firm and urgent. He thought about the taste of her skin. He thought of the steady stream of her tears as she asked for his forgiveness. That image haunted him._

_Olivia had asked him to see her as she really was and to love her anyway. He went over everything he ever knew about her, all the interactions they ever had. The picture he drew in his mind was of a warm, brilliant and loving person. He tried to align that with the image he had been building of her for the past year; one of an ambitious manipulator who wanted to win at any cost, and that__just didn't make sense anymore._

_He thought about all the times he had done her wrong as well, all the way back to the first time he asked her to give her heart to a married man. And when she finally broke down those barriers and told him she would wait for him, he deliberately cheapened what they had by calling her his mistress and telling her he didn't want her anymore. He just wanted her to hurt as much as he did at the time. After finally finding her in his arms again after all of those years, he lied to her and told her that his overwhelming need to connect with her body and soul was just an uncontrollable physiological response. The pain in her eyes was what he was seeking, but it did not make him feel any better, and now it filled him with enormous regret._

_Did Olivia really agree to the election rigging because she just wanted him to be happy? He thought of Verna's last words to him, "You made us love you. You made us so devoted to you with your charm. We would do anything for you. We sold our souls for you." Was he responsible for compromising Olivia's very soul?_

_She made a mistake, and it cost people their lives. But God knows he had done the same. When she asked him to trust her again, it terrified him. How could he trust anyone enough to let them know who he really was? What he was really capable of? For the past year he had tried to drown the image of the life leaving Verna's body with a bottle of Scotch. What would Olivia think of him if she knew the truth? Maybe he could ask for her forgiveness too, to love him in spite of everything as well. _

_She said that she still loved him, even after all that had happened. He actually started feeling a little more hopeful. He started to devise a strategy to win her back. He tried not to worry that she said that she wouldn't come back to him if he let her go that night. He would make her understand that he needed __some __more time._

_He asked Tom to make arrangements for her to be brought to the White House that day. He would lay it all on the line to her, tell her the truth about Verna and ask __for her absolution. He'd ask her __to forgive him for hurting her, to marry him after he cleared up the mess of his current marriage. In the late afternoon, Tom returned to the oval office, but without Liv. Fitz felt a yawning sense of foreboding as he looked at Tom's flustered face. Tom explained that they had gone to her office and that the name had been changed to "Harrison Wright and Associates." Her former employees were not forthcoming with information other than Olivia had left and was not coming back. "We don't have all of the facts yet, but we have reason to believe that she's left the country, sir."_

_He felt like he was drowning. She's really gone. What a God damn fool he was not to stop her that night. She had warned him not to do it but he was too caught up in his own pain to heed it. All he wanted now was to feel her in his arms, tell her he loved her and that he was sorry. Despite everything, somewhere in the back of his mind he always thought that they would find each other again. That she would wait for him to get his act together. That she would tell him he's not a monster and that he deserved her love. He saw the years stretched before him without her in them and he felt a soul-crushing sense of hopelessness._

_She was really gone and it was too late to do anything about it. He watched as the day turned into night outside his window, never feeling so alone._

_No, it wasn't too late. He wouldn't allow that. He would find her again. He must. They were meant to be together._

_He started making plans. _


	9. Notes on a Scandal

I've started to publish the sequel to Flight. It's called the Fall and can be found here: s/9109835/1/The-Fall

President Fitzgerald Grant III has searched for Olivia Pope for 2 and a half years. When she resurfaces as the center piece in an international crisis that threatens to topple his presidency, he must figure out who he can trust to help bring Olivia and the child he didn't know he had home.


End file.
